Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Why Are they Calling Us Racist?

Posted in Uncategorized on September 15, 2009 by Political Baron

obamasolutionRacism in the United States is an ugly chapter that has not yet been completed.  In recent months, some who tend to lean to the far  right (my apologies to those with one shorter leg) have been wondering why people have been accusing them of being racist.  Driving home from work today I even heard Rush Limbaugh attempting to rile up his audience.  Taunting his dittoheads, he told them that “they” call you racists for disagreeing with Obama.  He then went on to say that in “In Obama’s America, the white kids now get beat up with the black kids cheering, ‘Yay, right on, right on, right on, right on,” Limbaugh said.  In the past he has criticized Obama’s black handshake and has referred to him as a Halfrican American.   It was a childish shameful tirade  and attempt at spin.   I think you know that  people are not being accused of racism simply because of thier views on healthcare reform.  You’re a grown up.  You know better than that.  People don’t think you’re racist for disagreeing with healthcare.  They think you’re racist for cracking racist jokes.  They think you’re racist for emailing racist images.  They think you’re racist for being racist.  Is it that far fetched.  We have seen this since the campaign.  Do you not remember people at McCain rallies with monkeys depicting Obama.  Do we not remember the Republican staffer who carved a B in her face and blamed a black assailant?   Have you not seen the signs at Tea party rallies and the 9-12 march depicting President Obama as a Muslim terrorist?  Or the one that said Africa has lions, we have a lying African? 

Personally, I think there are people with valid concerns about healthcare reform.  I do not think the majority of Republicans are racists.  But one cannot ignore the fact that there is a vocal element that is indeed racist.  And you cannot just dismiss this as a few fringe KKK lunatic nuts.    Some of it is coming from GOP officials.  In South Carolina, a GOP official posted a comment on Facebook comparing Michele Obama to an escaped Gorilla.  An advisor to  the State’s Attorney General Henry McMaster posted about an escape of a gorilla from the Riverbanks Zoo.  The update was followed by  a comment from former State Senate candidate and GOP activist Republican Rusty DePass. “I’m sure it’s just one of Michelle’s ancestors — probably harmless.”  In Tennessee, a legislative staffer for Diane Black sent out an email depicting the 44 presidents.  Obama’s picture only depicted his eyes.  Dean Grose, the Republican Mayor of Los Alamitos, California sent out an email depicting the White House with a watermelon patch.  The caption read “no Easter Egg hunt this year.”  He resigned in disgrace.  You may also recall the Chaffey Community Republican Women’s Club which sent out a mailer depicting President Obama on Food Stamps surrounded by watermelon and fried chicken.  That piece of work was attributed to the group’s president racist16_400Diane Fedele. So why are they calling you racithumbnailCAH4BVPKst?  Beat’s the heck out of me.

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Canada is Trying to Kill Us

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11, 2009 by Political Baron

dudley_do_rightFor years I have been warning people about our northern neighbors and no one would listen to me.  When I tell people my theory, they make statements like “crackpot”, “nutjob” and “sir, your holding up the line, do you want fries with your Happy Meal or not?”   Nevertheless, I will get my message out.  The Canadians are trying to kill us.  

Now I don’t know anything about the Canadian healthcare system, the Obama proposals or “facts” but from what I’ve heard at town hall meetings and random strangers, it involves a series of death panels that kill senior citizens.   Ever seen an old Canadian?  Neither have I.  Even a discussion of healthcare reform causes you to go deaf and develop Tourettes.  At most town hall meetings,  I have observed participants inexplicably shouting random incoherent things at each other.  

In 2006, per-capita spending for health care in the U.S. was $6,714.   In Canada, it was $3,678  That’s US Dollars.  The  U.S. spent 15.3% of GDP on health care in that year; Canada spent 10.0%   Despite this fact, Canadians are living longer than Americans.  Their infant mortality rate is lower.  So why does the United States remain the only wealthy industrialized nation without universal healthcare? 

To that I say, mind your business Canada and quit stealing all of our good hockey jobs. The real reason Canadians are living longer is simple. 

  1. Canada is colder.  Its simply preservation.  (Ever notice meet lasts longer in the fridge.  Of course someone in frigid Canada will keep longer than someone in humid Florida.) 
  2. The Canadians keep sending us all their crappy music and keep the good stuff. Take Canadian Celine Dion for example.  Studies indicate Americans shave approximately five minutes off their life every time they listen to the love theme from Titanic.  
  3. Heart disease is the number one killer of Americans.   Americans love Egg McMuffins.  Egg McMuffins have Canadian bacon.  Do the math.

The Manchurian Canadian Candidate

Now this may come off a bit crazy, but I think the Birther movement may have been on to something regarding claims that Obama is not being a natural born citizen.  There only mistake was thinking President Obama was born in Kenya.  I think Obama is actually French Canadian.   It appears he may have been born in Quebec.  He is way too polite to be an American.  And Barack sounds like a Frenchy name.  “Le Barack Obama “.   It makes perfect sense. 

Let’s use common sense.  Hawaiian and Canadian officials could have easily been paid off to go along with the story. You would just need loads of cash for the bribes.   You know, Gordon Lightfoot kind of money.  And (surprise, surprise) guess where Gordon was born….Yup, you guessed it.  Canada.  And what about those phoney baloney newspaper announcements regarding Obama’s purported “Hawaiian Birth?”  You would have to have some sort of time machine to go back to the 1960s, right?.  Is it a coincidence that Canadian born Michael J Fox has access to a DeLorean Time machine?  I think not.  The truth is out there people.  You just need to find it.  The Canadians are out to get us.

Making Love Connections One Nut at a Time. Rep. John Sullivan.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 9, 2009 by Political Baron

john sullivan

Because every squirrel can find a nut in the forest of love.

Oklahoma Republican Representative looking for Love in All the Wrong Places:  Hello Ladies.  As you know,  Oklahoma is the OK state.  But if you are looking for love that is more than OK, turn to Oklahoma Republican Representative John Sullivan. 

You’ll have so much fun with this former real estate broker, your hair will fall out.  (Well, maybe just the hair around your forehead).  You may recall this mug from television.  No not C-Span.  The show Cops. Sully’s been arrested a few times, but that only means he likes to party.  His arrests included assault and battery, disturbing the peace and public intoxication.  But don’t worry, the cop he assaulted was off duty.   Sully will never be off duty for your heart.  The only disturbing of the peace he will be doing is the loud beating of his heart.   And he will be publically intoxicated with your love.  Rawr! He has been rated as 0% by the ACLU on civil rights issues but he is 100% sassy.

Described by former GOP communications consultant David Perason as “the most dishonest, disingenuous and crooked politician I have ever known. He is a liar because he repeatedly lied to me and others about his business background, his arrest records and many other things” But don’t worry, Sully won’t lie to your heart.

Sully likes to stoke the flames of passion.  In a recent town hall meeting, he questioned whether President Obama was indeed born in the United States.   So what if newspaper accounts announced President Obama’s birth over four decades ago?  Ever hear of a time machine.   So what the state of Hawaii produced a birth certificate with a raised seal, the director of Hawaiian public health confirmed the birth, and the Republican governor of Hawaii confirmed his birth?  So what if his mother was a US citizen?  So what if Obama underwent a strenous vetting process that probably included the CIA , FBI, Congress, and the scrutiny of a world media?  He wants real proof.  But he won’t have to prove that he loves you.   Sully  has spoken against government bailouts at tea party events.  The  fact that he voted for the  Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008, aka the bailout, will be our naughty secret.

Turn ons are walks in the park, long form birth certificates, teabagging, dentist-lawyer-real estate agents, and George Bush (in his first term, he voted 100% of the time for W).

Turn offs are fat chicks, immigrants, Kenyans and common sense.

Cash for Clunkers Saved My Life

Posted in Uncategorized on August 8, 2009 by Political Baron

christineMy father is cut from an old cloth.  The kind of guy that always provides for his family.  Not surprisingly, dear old dad tended to sacrifice the finer things in life.   He never knew the joy of that new car smell.  For years he drove clunkers while the wife and kids drove new cars.  The latest incarnation was an old 88 Cadillac DeVille held together with duct tape and a prayer.  We always knew when dad was almost home.  So did the neighbors.  Now with the kids out of the house, dad started enjoying the finer things in life.  Tuition payments were replaced with trips to Aruba with mom.  I decided to tell him about cash for clunkers.

“Dad, did you know you can get $4500 for the caddy if you trade it in?  I asked.  “That’s all.  It’s a Caddy.”  He replied.   Yes, it was a Cadillac.  It was a Cadillac with 200,000 miles on it and a cassette player that would only play a stuck 80s mix tape I made in Junior High School.  “Aren’t you sick of listening to Flock of Seagulls?”   I explained that he would get the cash if he purchased a brand new car with better mileage.  He deserved  a new car.  Working in a factory for 30 years, he earned it.  Dad finally turned in his old 88 Caddy to buy something new.  He couldn’t pass up the deal.  He opted for the Nissan Rogue.  And dad couldn’t be happier.  “So what happens to my Caddy?” he asked.  “Ummm.  I think they take it upstate to a nice family with a farm.” 

The program seems to be a success.  Ford announced its first gain in sales since 2007.  The environment will benefit from less gas guzzlers on the road.   Less need for gas, less reliance on foreign oil.  The National Automobile Dealers Association reports huge backlogs of applications awaiting approval by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, which oversees cash for clunkers.   So who wants to rain on the parade?

South Carolina’s Republican Senator Jim DeMint called it “stupidity coming out of Washington right now.” Sen. John McCain threatened to filibuster efforts to put $2 billion more into the program.  Classic car enthusiasts have complained that a piece of Americana is being destroyed.   Trust me, Americana doesn’t need your rust addled 1989 Ford Aerostar with the custom racing stripe.  Listening to talk radio, I even heard some complain that by buying cars, people wouldn’t buy other things.   Are you kidding me?  We need economic stimulus right now.  Buying cars saves jobs.  It supports a cottage industry of air freshners, hanging dice, car mats, gas stations, and bikini car washes.  More importantly it saves lives.  Does everything have to be a reason to bitch?

Cars are as American as mom and apple pie.  I loved my red and white 1958 red and white Plymouth Fury.  It got to the point where the car started controlling who I was.  High gas mileage was ripping a hole in my pocket.  Not to mention Christine started killing the neighbors.   I finally sent it into the crusher in exchange for one of those little SMART cars.  Sure it doesn’t turn the girl’s heads, but at least the neighbors are safe and I’m helping the economy.

The Rise of Cobra and the Return of Palin

Posted in Uncategorized on August 8, 2009 by Political Baron

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IS MOOSELINI BACK?

As a kid, I loved watching GI Joe cartoons on Saturday mornings.  Our real American heroes would thwart the dastardly plans of the evil Cobra Commander as he tried to take over the world.   Cobra Commander was a somewhat menacing looking figure in a Darth Vader /  Dick Cheney sort of way.  As such, he would often have to turn to his femme fatale, the Baroness.  With long dark hair, black-rimmed glasses and an Orly Taitz accent, the ruthless beauty carried a menancing gun.  In one actual episode, she travels to Alaska where she steals the seal of Alaska and tries to kill Snake Eyes, his pet wolf and Kwinn the Eskimo.

Now, the Baroness is back from hiding.  No, I don’t mean the Baroness in the new feature length GI Joe Movie.  I mean the real Baroness.  The one with the funny accent.  The one who delights in shooting wolves from planes cause yah gotta eat.   The new accent doesn’t fool me.  I know its her.  She has given up the great seal of Alaska with 18 months left in her term.  She has gone from killing wolves to killing healthcare reform. She wants to attack your COBRA benefits.  In her state of the union, press conference, television interview, speech before Congress Facebook update, former Governor Sarah Palin stated:  “Who will suffer the most when they ration care? The sick, the elderly, and the disabled, of course.”  Palin goes on to write “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their ‘level of productivity in society,’ whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.”

Her statements rubbed me the wrong way in many ways.   Death panels?  Sounds like a weird spinoff of American Idol.  Imagine Paul Abdul, Simon whats his face and David Hasselhoff judging whether or not grandma is gonna make it.  The ratings would be amazing.  We can have Ozzie’s wife as an alternate.  Actually, what bugged me about Palin’s statements was that she immediately dragged her poor kid into the center of the debate.  Considering she relentlessly decries the media for mentioning her kids, why does she intentionally throw them on stage.  If she doesn’t want media coverage of her family, stop trotting them out every five seconds.  Why not throw a blanket over Bristol’s  head.  It worked for Michael Jackson’s kids.  You live in Alaska.  I am sure you have blankets.

Actually, what really bothers me about her statements is that she is injecting more misinformation into a highly charged debate.  For better or worse, a segment of our society believes in her.  Healthcare is a complex issue.  Calling the proposals “evil” and suggesting it will kill babies and old people is shameful.  For someone who has higher political aspirations, these are not the actions of a statesman.  I would have preferred if she offered an alternative plan.  I never liked scare tactics in politics.  They cloud the issues.  They misinform and manipulate.   Besides I hear that Palin is suggesting that we let our seniors loose into the Alaskan wilderness where they will be shot at from planes.  Survival of the fittest.  It’s really quite humane.

So where does this grandma killing misinformation come from?  Who is telling you that there is a boogeyman in the closet?   In addition to Palin’s evil comments, Rush Limbaugh has stated that “they” are going to counsel you on how to die.  Healthcare opponents usually  point to language in a House bill that offers senior citizens free counseling meant to answer any end of life questions they may have.  This is voluntary counseling that includes advice on will preparation, medical power of attorneys, resuscitation wishes and other pertinent matters.  It does not mean that Obama, the Kenyan born communist wants to kill grandma and use the extra money to pay for abortions.

Over the years, I have found that if the counter argument is led by the Rush Limbaughs, Sarah Palins and Orly Taitiszeses of the world,  it may behoove you to take closer look at the truth.  Here, the legislation orders Medicare to pay for consultations between patients and doctors on end-of-life decisions.  Right now, it does not cover it.  Of course,  these consultations are not mandatory.  Grandpa Joe doesn’t have to do it if he doesn’t want to.  It is an option.   Truth of the matter is such consultations are nothing new.   Health care facilities have been required to provide end-of-life information to patients since 1990 when Congress passed the Patient Self Determination Act.  I believe that was under the reign of George the First. Similar actions were brought under George the II as well.  According to Politico: “In 2003, under the Bush administration, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality issued a 20-page report outlining a five-part process for physicians to discuss end-of-life care with their patients.” [Politico, 7/28/09].

We need more affordable options.  There is no reason Canadians should be living longer than us. ( Granted the reason may be that they sent Celine Dion to the United States.  Studies show that American life expectancy shortens 5 minutes everytime they hear the theme to Titanic).   Americans  should not be forced to choose between visiting a doctor or putting food on a table (or having the HBO package on their television set).  The healthcare system in our nation needs to be fixed.  Stop with the scare tactics.  Start with the solutions.

PS Did you hear that Obama wants to take away Rascals from Senior Citizens.  He says they add to global warning. He also plans to take the batteries out of your Life Alert.  If you fall, you won’t be able to get up.

Barking Dogs Have the Smallest Bite. Shouting Down Real Healthcare Debate.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2009 by Political Baron

ferrisAre Anger and Fear Giving Common Sense and Decency a Run for the Money?

Director John Hughes died August 6th from an apparent heart attack at age 59.  He leaves behind a stable of quotable iconic 80s films (Vacation, Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink) that will continue to make audiences smile.

One of my favorite Hughes films has to be Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.  Complaining about having to write a paper about European socialists, the young Ferris laments “I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So who cares if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.”

Not everyone has taken Ferris Beuller’s advice to heart.  In recent days, terms like “socialism” “Nazism” and “communism” have been used to describe the Obama administration.  You may have seen a television interview where dentist / lawyer/ real estate agent / birth certificate aficionado Orly Taitz described the current administration as brown shirted thugs, an obvious reference to the Nazi Party. No matter what part of the political fence you sit on, you probably agree that such characterizations are a wee bit over the top and quite ridiculous.

Personally, it drives me nuts when people throw around terms Nazi and Communist.  My family comes from Poland. (You know, the piece of  real estate unfortunately parked between Germany and Russia.) Polish people know a thing or two about the horrors of both isms.  As a child, I visited Poland during the height of communism.  I observed the long lines to buy food.   You would be put on waiting lists to be able to buy a bicycle or get an apartment.I had relatives who were members of the Solidarity movement. Trust me.  Cash for Clunkers is hardly a communist conspiracy.  And after hearing the stories my grandfather told me about invading Nazis, I can confidently tell you President Obama is far from being a Nazi. Those who make such statements do diservice to those who served in WWII, including Obama’s grandfather.

Republican or Democrat, I suggest that Americans should make an effort to keep a clear head. In town hall meetings across the country, we have seen health care opponents attempt to shout down constructive conversation on the topic.  They have turned potentially constructive forums into bitch sessions used to vent frustration through yelling.   It apppears anger and fear have attempted to replace common sense and decency.  Personally,  I want to know what this new health care plan entails. I want specifics. It’s tough to get information when some loud mouth next to you is shouting “Communist” while clutching talking points provided by groups with alterior motives.

It always surprised me that so many are quick to form their opinions based on what comes out of the mouth of guys like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh.   In my home state of Connecticut, the local mouthpiece  seems to be Jim Vicevich.  Funny thing is, I really like listening to these guys. I tune in.  But they are entertainers. They feed off discourse even if it is to the detriment of progress.   Rouse the rabble and ratings go up. I was listening to Vicevich earlier today. I’ve followed him since his days at the local Channel 3 News in Hartford, Connecticut. Jim quickly cut off a caller who started bringing up using arms. Let’s not go there, he quipped. Vicevich tends to mimic guys like Rush right down to tapping the desk with his script and repetitive slogans. Their antics have decreased the quality of the debate. But hey slogans work. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese and all. You can hear the same slogans over and over again being used to shout down Congressman at public meetings.

The issue of Health Care is complex. You can’t reduce it to a slogan. As Ferris would say, “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Whatever your views are, take a moment to really look at the proposals. I hear complaints, but I don’t hear alternatives.  Healthcare does need to be reformed.  I am not suggesting you should accept one side over the other.  Quite the opposite.  I want you to make an informed educated choice. Get the facts, not soundbites from talk radio .If you don’t like what is being proposed, let them know.  But try doing it like a normal person. Shouting will get you nowhere.

Bill Clinton, International Man of Mystery

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2009 by Political Baron

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Shaken Not Stirred

Growing up in the 80s I loved action movies.    When trouble called, you had a choice of bad asses to choose from.  Whether it was Chuck, Arnold, or Sly, our heroes would run into the jungle with guns blazing.  As time passed, the guns rusted and our heroes grew older.  Arnold gave up the life and became governor of California.  After years of running through the jungles, Rambo decided to get some face work.  Even the reliable Chuck Norris put on a cowboy hat and went from rescuing missing vets to rescuing Lou Dobbs

I was lost. I needed a new hero.   Besides Arnold, Chuck and Sly, my favorites were getting out of shape.  Van Damme and Jackie Chan couldn’t kick quite as high as they used to.  Steven Seagal had grey in his ponytail.   Who are we supposed to rely on?  Matt Damon and the kid from Titanic?  I don’t know if I like those apples.  In order to find a new hero, I had to look to the past.  To the good old days of shaken not stirred Martinis.  The 007 days of when our heros didn’t necessarily need an arsenal of weapons.  They could take down an adversary using the art of the schmooze.  We didn’t need the blazing guns of W.  We needed the smooth Sean Connery style of slick Willy.

It was a Hollywood script ripe for the making.  Two beautiful reporters get kidnapped by a ruthless dictator who sentences them to years of hard labor.   The bad guy is willing to discuss the hostages, but only with his old arch nemesis.  (The bad guy is usually holding a grudge against the hero who cut off  his hand, slashed his face, killed his brother, pushed him into an acid pit, embargoed his dictatorship, etc)  As the movie goes, we find out our old hero is retired.  The old gunslinger who is drinking his life away in some saloon.  The ex cop who vows never to pick up a gun.  The superhero who hung up his tights.  The audience can still see a glimmer of greatness in the old gunfighter’s eyes.    We are rooting for him.

To the elation of their families, Bill Clinton returned to the United States with journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee.  The old gunfighter seemed to have regained his swagger.  The cape seemed to be a little brighter.  Old Bill was back.  Cut to the credits.  Republican or Democrat, the story should be one that all Americans can take pride in.  An ex American president going into the belly of the beast to rescue a pair of American citizens for exercising rights we often take for granted.  It was a great movie worthy of an academy award.  I hope to see it again.

Of course, not everyone enjoyed this film.  Minutes after the news broke that the hostages were freed, Fox News commentators gave it two thumbs down.  Former Clinton employee Dick Morris, who lost his post after allegedly engaging the services of a prostitute, continued his sour puss tirade over his old boss.  He stated that the journalists should have lived with the decision for going there.   The real winner was North Korea.  I have to disagree with Dick.   The situation brings world attention to the way North Korea treats journalists.  It brings an ex president back who enjoyed worldwide popularity back into the spotlight.  It also demonstrates that diplomacy and open communication can lead to results. 

So what is next for Bill Clinton, 007?  Well, after the James Bond movies, I seem to recall Sean Connery doing a Hunt for Red October.  Maybe Bill can help us out with those pesky Russian subs?